I Deployed Fart Spray at a Work Happy Hour and I Stand By Every Decision
I Deployed Fart Spray at a Work Happy Hour and I Stand By Every Decision Submitted by: Anonymous — "I have been asked not to identify myself. The HR
I Deployed Fart Spray at a Work Happy Hour and I Stand By Every Decision
Submitted by: Anonymous — “I have been asked not to identify myself. The HR situation resolved itself. Everything is fine.”
TL;DR: Two gin and tonics, a work happy hour that needed energy, a pocket containing one bottle of Fart Spray Extra Stinky and one bottle of Liquid Ass Fart Spray, and a decision that I would characterize as “bold” and others have characterized differently. The sprays are real. The reactions were real. The legend lives on.
I want to start with some context that I think will make this story more sympathetic: the work happy hour was boring. I cannot overstate how boring it was. We were in a bar, it was 5:30pm on a Thursday, and we were talking about Q3 metrics. At a bar. On purpose.
Someone needed to do something.
The Two-Spray Strategy
I should explain how I came to have two fart sprays on my person. Three weeks prior I had found, in the Amazon “frequently bought together” section under “gag prank gifts,” a recommendation that involved both the Fart Spray Extra Stinky Prank and the Liquid Ass Fart Spray.
Being a person of completeness, I purchased both. Research purposes. Comparative analysis.
The Fart Spray Extra Stinky Prank is the classic entry — a small aerosol can of concentrated artificial flatulence scent. One spray, immediate environmental transformation. Radius: depends on the size of the space and ventilation. In a bar with some ambient air movement: about fifteen feet.
The Liquid Ass Fart Spray is the specialist option. The name communicates the positioning accurately. This is not a subtle product. The Liquid Ass is designed for serious prank situations where casual fart spray would not suffice. It is the thermonuclear option.
I had both in my jacket pocket at the work happy hour. This was not planned. I had just forgotten to remove them before going to work.
The Deployment
The conversation had drifted into a debate about whether the new expense reporting system was “intuitive.” I decided this was the moment.
I excused myself to the bar. On my way back, I performed a discreet single spray of the Fart Spray Extra Stinky near the edge of the group conversation area. Then I returned to my seat, picked up my drink, and waited.
The results were educational. Within about twenty seconds, the Q3 metrics conversation stopped. People looked around. People began reconsidering their proximity to other people. The bar itself appeared briefly confused. Someone said “oh my god” in a way that communicated genuine atmospheric concern.
I maintained complete composure. This is important. The prank works best when you’re the only person in the room who isn’t looking around.
The conversation shifted, as it inevitably does after an olfactory event, to more animated territory. Someone told a story. Someone else made a joke. The energy improved markedly.
I did not deploy the Liquid Ass. The Liquid Ass is for outdoor use or spaces with very high tolerance and very low professional stakes. I read the room. I made the appropriate choice.
A Comparative Review
Fart Spray Extra Stinky: Effective, funny, appropriate for indoor use in reasonable quantities, disperses within a few minutes. The “one spray” guideline on the can is accurate. Do not exceed.
Liquid Ass Fart Spray: More potent. Longer lasting. For outdoor situations, large spaces, or situations where the prank has full audience buy-in. This is the product you use when everyone knows a prank is happening and consent is implied. Not for subtle deployment.
Both are quality products that do exactly what they say. Neither requires any skill to use. Both require judgment about when and where.
The Aftermath
The happy hour ended up being genuinely fun. I cannot prove causality. I believe causality exists.
Nobody ever determined the source of the incident. I have maintained plausible deniability through the present day. The HR situation that was mentioned in my introduction was entirely unrelated and fully resolved.
FAQ: Fart Sprays (Both Products)
Are these actually potent or gimmicky? Both are genuinely potent. The Extra Stinky does exactly what it says. The Liquid Ass is legitimately intense. These are not novelty products that under-deliver.
How long does the smell last? Extra Stinky: a few minutes indoors, disperses faster outdoors. Liquid Ass: longer lasting, plan accordingly.
Is there a difference between the two? Intensity and duration. The Extra Stinky is the casual option; Liquid Ass is for committed pranksters who need maximum effect.
Is this a good gift? For the right person with the right sense of humor: yes. For anyone in a professional context: deploy with caution.
Get the Fart Spray Extra Stinky on Amazon →
Get the Liquid Ass Fart Spray on Amazon →
As an Amazon Associate, Drunken Prime earns from qualifying purchases.